If we see humility as self-knowledge, that’s a very attractive virtue for modern people. Everyone wants to know themselves, and I think in coming to know yourself you need community, you need relationship, because you can’t know yourself in isolation. You don’t exist in isolation.
Being real means being vulnerable
It means that people can see the version of you
as you are.
Everybody wants to be the perfect version of themselves
because anything less than that is a let down
and to the people around them.
Over the past few months, I have done something I was always afraid of.
I let people in, to see me for who I was.
I was afraid, that people would be afraid of me, appalled, disinterested, judgmental – disappointed.
And there were times that I felt they were, and those were really really low moments for me…
I’m the kinda person, that’s like a boiling pot of soup. Once you get the heat on, I’ll just keep stewing and stewing and stewing until I reach a point where the soup’s tasteless and has lost it’s life.
I feel like I’ve lost my life – the fervour, the fire, the faith.
I thought that the way to get it back, is to let go of the chains that held me back and that was – people.
So I intentionally cut people out of my life, every single time. Every single time I felt hurt, I felt lost, I felt vulnerable, I’d run away and hide in the corner of the room, hoping that no one would see me.
And that hurt people. A lot of them.
I was so afraid of losing people, that I had actually lost them.
The worst part is – I need these people to exist. I never realised it until now, and I am unashamed of that fact.
I recently I read an article online and it shed quite a bit of perspective into my dilemma. And I’d like to share it with you.
You are a Companion
Companions are people who naturally connect with the Holy One through their relationships with others. They believe that God is present in everyone and look for the spark of that presence when they are with others. They look to others to help them make sense of their own faith, and trust that God will speak to them and lead them through the words, actions, and holiness of other godly people. They relate best with God through shared interaction. They tend to spend more time praying and worshipping with others than by themselves. If they were to meet God face to face, they would want to have those they love with them.
In the Bible, Ruth was a good example of a companion. After her father-in-law, brother-in-law, and husband died she became a companion to Naomi, her mother-in-law, even though it meant leaving behind all that, for her, was familiar and expected. Through Naomi’s personal faith and the faith of Naomi’s people, Ruth felt the touch of the Holy One and discovered a new way of living and being. She allowed her new faith community to be the primary source of her spiritual transformation.
If you are a companion, you will be drawn to spiritual practices that involve others—their presence, their thoughts, their wisdom.
Companions may have more difficulty praying and learning in solitude, or taking spiritual steps independent of the encouragement and direction of others.
To strengthen the part of your spirit that naturally shies away from solitude, try exploring the many meditation practices using art, music, poetry, reading and journaling. These offerings will give you step-by-step guidance on how to practice meditation using various inspiration.
I’m unafraid of who I am, and I hope and pray that God will bring me to people who are unafraid to embrace my hurt, my sorrows and my imperfections.
To God be the Glory.