An Open Letter to… Myself

Hey there Alwin,

It’s me – Alwin. I know it’s been a long year for you and it certainly hasn’t been easy now has it? Of course I’d know, after all, I am you.

Y’know, a lot has changed over this past year and I’m sure if you’d just take a moment to consider it all, you’ll be amazed at the things God has been doing despite your disbelief, you’re rebellious nature and even your moments of folly. Even at your lowest, God has been with you the whole time even if you’ve chosen not to see it.

So let me just get right into it, because God knows you hate people who agonise you by beating around the bush and leading you on a wild goose chase.

I understand that you THOUGHT that you had met the girl of your dreams and that you were SO absolutely sure that things would eventually work out between you two. And so when things finally ended (or actually never even happened) between the two of you, you felt lost – like a little boy who ran away from his mother thinking that the pack of potato chips in the next aisle was the most important thing in the world.

And it broke you, a lot. You silly silly boy, you always like to put everything on the line don’t you? There’s never an in between for you.

But you know, you can’t keep living in an idealistic world with all these misconceptions as to how life SHOULD be when it really is just how you WANTit to be…

Once again, you let someone become your salvation. You thought this person would save you, transform you and allow you to become a better person. You thought this person would be worthy of all your trust, that this person would always accept you for who you are and stand by you no matter what happens. You thought that this person was ready to share in this journey with you.

Well, you were wrong. And you know what, it’s all your own fault you are feeling this way. You saw the signs, you knew that things seemed to be too good to be true – but you chose to ignore them all. You had huge expectations, those that were unrealistic and you allowed them to shape your belief and your view on the whole situation. Instead, you hurt the person who DID care by forcing their hand.

This is all indeed your OWN fault.

And so you must move on and face the consequences of your actions, you’re not allowed to run away from this again.

Moving on and Running away are two totally different things.

Moving on means being able to ACCEPT what has happened and to set a new objective for yourself.

Running away is living in DENIAL and thinking that by ignoring your own emotions and feelings, things will EVENTUALLy get better.

Well now you know, it really REALLY doesn’t.

So pick yourself up damn it, stop living in self-pity.

YOU ARE BIGGER THAN THIS, God knows it.

God has so much more in store for you, only if you choose to wait for His leading and guidance.

It’s not just about finding the one, but more so about finding THE ONE – God Himself. He loves you so SO much and only if you allow Him to, will you see the joy and peace that He can bring to you in this lifetime.

So muscle up boy, you’ve got a long looong journey ahead of you and it’s gonna be filled with so many more stories of grace and lessons learnt.

This is where rubber meets the road.

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s